got her hair did.

My best friend is getting married in like 2 and a half weeks! Eeep!

Life has taken us in different directions the past few years and flung us around. There's been times we haven't talked in weeks. But even in our crazy busy and ever changing lives, we still got each others backs when it really matters. 

And now she's about to get married. In the temple. To her Prince Charming.

And I'm so excited for her!!! :)

She looks so gorgeous and stunning in her wedding dress... *dreamy sigh* 

Haha I'm such a sucker for romance.

Anyways, we decided since time was closing in on her wedding day we needed to mess with her hair and figure out a hairstyle. And it needs a little tweaking, but I have to say, I didn't do a half bad job. Especially for me first time doing an updo :) 

See for yourself...

this side needs to be secured a little tighter for the real deal, but there will probably also be a hairpiece sweeping up right there :) 

super excited!

"what ifs" & faith

anyone who knows me knows that i worry. a lot.
its just in my personality to be a worrier. i don't like it, but its just what i do. the thing is, i only worry and stress over realistic things. i could care less about zombies or aliens or whatever. abnormal things, not really a concern.
i worry primarily over finances and the health and safety of my family.
that is my biggest concern with serving a mission....
my daddy hurts all the time and i dont know how much longer he'll be able to work. my mom only has a part time job. missions are expensive! and while i'm paying half of it... i really don't want to cause financial stress and be a burden on my family. i feel like its selfish of me, even though i know its for a good cause.
i also worry about being seperated from them in this time of unease in the world. what if a huge war breaks out? what if i'm in a country all the way across the world with no hope of getting home? what if something tragic happens in my family? that would kill me.
so i guess i have to do my best to trust in the lord.
these last few days have been a little rough. its like satan is doing all that he can to make me fearful and feel inadequate. i had a breakdown the other night, and thankfully my mom was there to help me through it. she really helped me to see that faith is key.

currently...

i am now, officially, 20 years old. yesterday was crazy and a whirlwind of running everywhere with appointments for the boys and grocery shopping. and then making my huge cake. and i ran out of frosting... so i improvised ;)

pretty proud of it, especially cuz it was my first time doing roses :)

i'm pretty sure my mother is the greatest. she is like superwoman. i am so blessed to have her as my mom and my friend, my strength, my hero, and my example. events recently have led me to conclude that if i could have hand chosen anyone to be my mother, i would have picked her every time- she really is that great, even if she doesn't believe it herself. i know she thinks she falls short a lot of the time, but i could not be more blessed to be raised by this incredible woman and i am so proud to call her mom.

oh, and guess what? 

my mission call is supposed to be coming this week...

A love like theirs.

I just read the church news that showed up on my facebook feed...

Sister Monson, wife of President Monson, passed away this morning.

I almost cried. My heart is saddened.

President Monson loved his sweetheart so dearly.

I have nothing but respect, admiration, and love for the Prophet and his family. They are good, kind, inspirational people who follow the Lord in all that they do. 

Though Sister Monson wasn't in the spotlight very often, I have no doubt she was a beautiful, wonderful woman. And President Monson always treated her as such. You never doubted they were in love, even now.

They are so cute together...

 

 

 

During a recent CES broadcast (last month I think) the speaker was talking about President Monson and showed a picture of him kissing his wife on the cheek in the conference center. It was the most.precious.thing. I couldn't find that picture, sadly, but these ones show a glimpse of the love they have together.

Even though she's gone to heaven and President Monson and his children must be incredibly sad and heartbroken, what joy they must find in the knowledge that they will certainly be with her again. And forever after that. 

I want a love like theirs. 

Here's the article about Sister Monson's passing.

21 months x 2

21 months ago I met my best friend.

And 21 months from now I will most likely be seeing him again (depends on my mission).

look at us! we're just babies.

If there's one thing I've learned, it is that time flies by way too fast.

I mean really, have I been graduated for two years (in three weeks) already?

Was it really that long ago I met Alex at Seneca?

Did I really live in Blanding 9 months last year?

Is it really my birthday in less than a week?

How did my baby brothers get to be so big and weigh more than me?

Sometimes it seems that days go by so slowly and then you turn around and a month has gone by. Sometimes I wish I could have a pause button in this life.

Sometimes you don't want to ever let go of the memories.

Sometimes you want to be able to remember every detail about loved ones.

Because we obviously can't stop time, my biggest advice is to live in the moment.

Don't get so caught up in work/responsiblities/activities that you forget to take a breather.

Enjoy the fresh air, enjoy your kids, enjoy your family. Be there for them. Encourage them. 

Play with them. Serve them unselfishly.

We can't get back lost time... And who wants to live a life of regrets, wondering what could have/ should have been?   

Alex and I have made many memories these past 21 months, even though we have spent 12 of them apart. He's been there for me through everything and I don't know what shape I'd be in right now without him and his love, his example, and his encouragement. I miss him like crazy... There's a piece of me missing right now. But I'm so grateful for what he is doing right now, I know Texas needs him. 

The last 21 months have flown by. What's 21 more? ;)             

blessed.

sometimes i get down on myself.

sometimes life just doesn't go the way we have planned.

sometimes i feel my life may not be as exciting and adventureous as others.

sometimes i get jealous.

sometimes i am afraid of the unknown.

sometimes i feel alone.

sometimes i wish my body would just be normal.

and sometimes, in the middle of all these thoughts, i realize how very blessed i am. the very fact that my heart is still beating, that i can see and hear and taste and smell and take in all the beauty around me.

 that i am here, right now. that i can spend time with my family and be around my brothers. that i can learn from my momma and talk to her about my concerns. that i can hug my daddy.

life is made up of moments. big moments are fun and exciting and accomplishments, maybe experiences you'll never forget. but i find that i feel most alive in the little moments.

holding a baby. having the wind blow through my hair. sunshine on my face. having a heart to heart conversation. watching my brothers grow and form their personalities. perfecting a recipe. being in the mountains. waves crashing around your ankles. laughter, lots and lots of laughter. being next to the people you love.

i am so blessed to have a family, to have been born into the family that i have. they rock my world, and no matter what i know that i have people who will always love and accept me. i am blessed to have a testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ. blessed to be able to serve a mission. blessed to live in such a beautiful place in the world. blessed to have so many good people in my life. blessed to have found a best friend i can trust and rely on, one who doesn't judge, won't run, and makes time for me. 

i would say i'm lucky, but i'm not.

i'm a very blessed girl, and i'm very thankful for the precious gifts i have been given.

This week I have been...

Planting flowers. Like a crazy woman.
My mom is re-doing her flower beds around the house and despite how much I hate bugs, that's a project I can get behind. I love flowers :)

I started another quilt! It's a denim one paired with a cute strawberry print and I'm excited :) I've never done a quilt like this before so it'll be a new experience. Yesterday, my mom and a couple ladies quilted for 3 and a half hours. And my fingers hurt now. But worth it? Definitely.

We had the missionaries over for dinner last night. First time I can EVER remember feeding them. But it was good, went better than expected. Weird to think that'll be me soon... My stake pres. interview is tomorrow night! And then my papers will be in! How do I feel about that? Excited and kinda getting nervous...

Alex didn't email me this week and I miss him :(

Other than that I've vacuumed and cleaned and watched wedding shows on TLC (addicted? possibly ;))

Enjoying the warm weather!

carrot cake cheesecake = delicious

today is my momma's birthday! and because she is so great and i love her i made her a birthday cake this year, all by myself :) and, not to brag or anything, it was frickin' delicious. sooo bad for your body, but sooo good on the tastebuds.

aaand because i'm nice i'll share the recipe. you're welcome.

Cheesecake Factory Carrot Cake Cheesecake

For the cheesecake:
• 16 ounces cream cheese (at room temp)
• 3/4 cup granulated sugar
• 1 tablespoon flour
• 3 eggs
• 1 teaspoon vanilla
For the carrot cake:
• 3/4 cup vegetable oil (I used a half cup & it worked well)
• 1 cup granulated sugar
• 2 eggs
• 1 teaspoon vanilla
• 1 cup flour
• 1 teaspoon baking soda
• 1 teaspoon cinnamon
• 1 dash salt
• 1 cup grated carrot
• 1/2 cup flaked coconut
• 1/2 cup chopped walnuts
For the cheese frosting: 
8 oz. cream cheese
1 stick butter
1 tsp. vanilla
3-4 cups powdered sugar

Instructions

1. To make cheesecake, in large bowl of electric mixer, beat together 2 pkgs cream cheese and 3/4 cup sugar until smooth. Beat in 1 tablespoon flour, 3 eggs and 1 teaspoon vanilla until smooth. Set aside.
2. Meanwhile prepare Carrot Cake: In large bowl, combine oil, 1 cup sugar, 2 eggs and 1 teaspoon vanilla, blending thoroughly. Stir in 1 cup flour, baking soda, cinnamon and dash salt, mixing well. Stir in drained pineapple, carrots, coconut and walnuts.
3. Spread 1 1/2 cups carrot cake batter over bottom of greased 9-or 9 1/2-inch springform pan. Drop large spoonfuls of cream cheese batter over carrot cake batter; top with large spoonfuls of remaining carrot cake batter. Repeat with remaining cream cheese batter, spreading evenly with a knife. Do not marble with a knife.
4. Bake in preheated 350 degree oven 50 to 65 minutes or until cake is set and cooked through.
5. Cool to room temperature, then refrigerate.
6. When cake is cold, prepare Cream Cheese Frosting. Beat until smooth and of spreading consistency. Frost cake. Refrigerate 3 to 4 hours before serving.*Recipe adapted from The Girl Who Ate Everything

Everyone is different.

this message is so sweet and precious. it was close to my heart because of my brother with aspberger's. i love him and i know he loves me even when he says mean or weird things. all of his funny quirks that makes him himself. even though he can be a hard kid to love and requires a lot of patience, hes my brother and i wouldn't have it any other way. my brothers are very special to me and its hard to see them get picked on and teased and talked about. i wish all of us could see each other as unique and different children of our Heavenly Father :)