Fat Blob.

I have an addiction.

Food.

I love to cook and bake, but unfortunately I love to eat too...

And I can feel myself putting on weight.

I don't usually gorge, per se, but I am eating more than I usually do and exercising/moving around less.

Yay for being in college and it being freaking cold outside and having no friends...

Ugh.

I've gotta get some motivation for controlling myself.

I can pass up a cookie right? I can pass up chocolate? I have enough control to portion right? I can avoid fattening foods... right?

Why is it sooo hard to stay skinny.

Gahhh.

I used to not really care, and now... I really do.

I don't wanna be a fatty.

I wanna be skinny and happy with myself and my body and enjoy going clothes shopping and having them look good on me. 

I sent Alex off hoping he'd lose weight... well I bet he sure as heck doesn't want to come home to a whale. He should be my motivation. I can't expect him to change and work hard if I'm not doing anything to improve myself right? Exactly.

So what do I do? 

Stop eating? Yeah... That probably won't happen. 

But I need to eat healthy and eat less.

Heeeeelp someone.

Please?

I wanna look good in a wedding dress. But most of all I want to look good for myself and prove that I can do this. 

I'm going out to eat pizza with a friend tomorrow, but after that. Things need to get real.

Ughhh...

So hard :( 

I need a support system, like really.

I don't want an overweight, chubby, squishy body. 

I don't want to get too big around to wear my sexy dresses and fit into my skinny jeans.

MOTIVATION.

Overcome my urges to eat. You do not have to stuff your face Jana. You can resist temptation.

Cuz I'm really feeling like a fat blob...