sunday reflections.

recent events have had me reviewing this past year.

and i've realized just how thankful i am to be where i am today. i'm grateful for the choices i made that led me here and that Heavenly Father could reach me.

i spent hours praying through the trials of my senior year of high school. it seemed like my situation would never end, that it would never get better. but i found comfort through prayer and hoped for a better future.

in august last year EVERYTHING got better. i had a job. my friend became active in the church again. i met my best friend alex, and that boy changed my life. and i still had my family and the gospel. i was happy, i was content, life was good.

moving 1000 miles away from home is tough. and i kind of fell apart at the seams and forgot what and who were really important. 

but my beliefs and standards were tested, and when it came down to it, i just wanted to feel clean again. i wanted my relationship back with God, and with my best friend. so i broke off unhealthy ties, even though it was really hard, and found forgiveness and repentance. 

well the kid i was hanging with has been put in jail. twice. for possession of drugs. 

i just feel so bad. i mean, i did care about him after all and wanted the best for him. but apparently he thought he was too far gone and a lost cause to try and get help. i just want to shake him and ask him if this really was what he pictured for his life, his future. 

at the same time, i feel so blessed. grateful that i KNOW who i am and what i want in life. grateful that i got out of that situation when i did. i feel terrible that things went that far to begin with, and sick that i hurt people during that time period. where would i be today if i hadn't stopped and assessed myself? it's something i don't really like to think about...

i am happy to have a testimony of the gospel. that the book of mormon is true. that God really is there and hears our prayers and is mindful of our circumstances. that the priesthood power is real and that there are worthy men that hold it. that families can be together forever, death cannot separate us.

i just wish people could see that. see that they can have happiness and that it is never too late to come back. come back to Christ. He loves us, and that will never change. 

most of the time, i don't feel worthy of the atonement. but i feel so grateful that Christ suffered and died for me. and you. and everyone. every day i need His grace and mercy. whether i mess up and make a mistake or just feel lonely, i know it is there for me. i know He is there for me.

i found this video while browsing through talks on http://www.lds.org/?lang=eng. 

lots of good stuff on there. 

"However many chances you think you have missed, however many mistakes you feel you have made or talents you think you don’t have, or distance from home and family and God you feel you have traveled, I testify that you have not traveled beyond the reach of divine love. It is not possible for you to sink lower than the infinite light of Christ’s Atonement shines."