In my dreams

In my dreams I'm married to an incredible man. He's tall, dark, and handsome. He's strong, inside and out. He's gentle and sincere and romantic. He serves others without question and loves without end. He's patient, he's kind. He likes to play with children, especially our own. He's a leader and an example of the believers to all those that he is around. He shows emotion and is not afraid or ashamed to cry. He communicates with me and is willing to work through disagreements. He is a hard worker and puts his family first. He has a great relationship with God, he trusts in Him completely and magnifies his priesthood.

In my dreams, I'm a momma. I stay at home with several children, each a precious spirit entrusted to my care. I love, teach, and take care of each one and help them see their divine potential as sons & daughters of a loving Heavenly Father. I serve them selflessly. I make the meals, clean the house, do the laundry, and find time to play and help with homework. I teach by example and encourage, support, and offer advice.

In my deams, I see wrestling matches, make believe stories, baby dolls, and tree houses. I see chocolate smeared grinning faces, messy hair, snotty noses, and mud covered clothes. I see baking cookies, bedtime stories, and snuggling during movies. I see crawling into bed with mommy and daddy after a bad dream. I see music recitals, sports games, and 4-H. I see young men and young women, first dances and prom dates. I see makeup, dresses, late night talks, chick flicks and eating ice cream out of the carton. I see basketballs, pickup trucks, campouts, video games, stinky shoes, and lots and lots of food being consumed. I see missionaries, Elders and Sisters, representatives of Jesus Christ.

In my dreams I see a cute happy house where love is felt and where the Spirit abides. I see a tire swing  in the backyard, a white picket fence and flowers blooming all around. I see a beautiful sunset and a night on the trampoline under the stars. I see a truck and four wheelers beckoning adventure. I see cows and dogs and tall green grass. I see water fights and picnics, sledding and hot chocolate. I see a large kitchen where I can cook and bake to my hearts content. I see bright vibrant colors on the wall and pictures of the Savior.

In my dreams, I see an eternal family, sealed in the temple of our God. I see generations and generations, tied together forever. I see love and joy and happiness. Trials too, but I see the faith required to overcome those trials. Yes, in my dreams I see the best things that a man or woman could acquire. Not elaborate designs, brand name clothing, the newest car, the latest best technology, fame or fortune. Not any sort of worldly gain. But in my dreams, I see clearly the people and little moments that matter most through the eternities, in this life and the next.

A Love Story: 2 years

Well, its been two years since I met my best friend.
And boy, it's been a pretty great two years.
I learned how to live and I learned how to truly love.
I learned how to fight, forgive, and make up.
I learned what it was like to care about someone more than myself.
I learned how to be comfortable with being myself.
I learned that I am beautiful and that so many people love me.
I learned to be brave and make sacrifices.
I learned how to say goodbye many times.
He has taught me so much, about myself and about life and faith.
Because of him, I believe very much more in the gospel of Jesus Christ.
It was no mistake, us working together at the same place. Definitely not a coincedence. No, God had prepared me and prepared him. We needed each other. And ever since then, we have clung to each other as safety nets in a crazy world.
We fell in love. It wasn't hard, it just seemed natural. To spend every day talking, laughing, crying, and going on adventures just seemed like the right thing. It was easy to be comfortable around him, easy to be real around him, easy to be me around him. And I liked that.
He gained my trust and became my best friend. The best friend I have ever had. The most stable and reliable friend I have ever had. I am so grateful for his friendship and his example. People can judge, people can diss, people can make fun... But they don't understand. Heavenly Father knows what he's doing when he places people in your lives. Some need to be there only for a brief period of time, some will be there forever.
I am so proud of who this kid is becoming. He's a missionary, a representative of Jesus Christ. He's changing lives, he's changing his life.
I will never forget the memories: the good, the bad, the hard, the downright miserable, and the experiences I wouldnt trade for anything in the world. Here's to many years of making more memories :)

 

so let's talk about babies...

Ok, so everyone that knows me knows that I LOVE babies. I think they are adorable and I want to hold them and cuddle them all the time. Seriously, my friend even drew me up a "baby snatching" license alright? I get all happy and excited and squeal and all that fun and happy motherly instinct girl stuff. 

But really? I am getting sick and tired of EVERYONE being pregnant. It's like all the females I went to high school with (mostly not married ones) are announcing they are pregnant and having babies right and left. What the heck people! It's really weirding me out, like, you're not old enough/responsible enough to have a kid... And if you really feel that you are, just GET MARRIED ALREADY! Please, for the sake of the child and everyone else. I am one of those few people that are still definitely for marriage! Divorce rates are high you say? MAKE IT WORK. Obviously you felt like you were in love at one point, remember why! People change you say? People do change with time, CHANGE TOGETHER. I'm no relationship counselor, but honestly? I know it's hard, but it's doable. Too many people just give up.

Ok ok, enough of the marriage tangent. 

Holy cow, so many babies! My classmates (and younger) are having babies! *silent scream* 

I'm just glad it isn't me.

And I don't mean that in a rude way. I love children and I am very excited to have my own, but now is not the time. I have other obligations right now. I am NEEDED in Kentucky. And when that work is done, then I will get married and start a family. And LOVE it! I have always wanted to be a mother. But all things have a season, and right now is not the season. 

I probably just think its weird because I cannot imagine being pregnant right now.... So now that I have ranted about the strangeness of all these pregnant girls, please enjoy a few pics of my obsession with babies.... (my kids will have a million pics of them... poor things ;)).

 

Precious, yes? Ahhh love :)

someone needs your star.

there's a song by jenny phillips called "someone needs your star."
and as i say by my bedroom window last night after praying, i watched those twinkling stars in the heavens. it was a beautiful clear night. and this song came to mind.
life was going great, seriously NO complaints. everything was going as planned. i knew what i was supposed to do. but then out of nowhere something happens that changes things. changes plans and dreams. what am i to do?
trials are tough. they take you to your knees in confusion and sorrow and pleading. but i think that is what Heavenly Father intended them to do- to draw us closer to Him.
this song, that i hadn't listened to for years, came to mind last night. someone needs me. i already love the people in the Louisville Kentucky mission, and i don't even know them yet. i know that my whole life has been preparing me for this time, to serve the Lord and to bring people closer to Him. i am scared, i am nervous, i am anxious. but I know i can do this with His help. i have something to offer people, my testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ.
here's the link for Someone needs your Star, in case anyone needs some uplifting today.

this morning i went on a walk with my mom and another song popped into my head. and this is what i need to remember when times get rough...

my calling as a missionary.

You are called to represent the Savior. Your voice to testify becomes the same as His voice, your hands to lift the same as His hands. His work is to bless His Father’s spirit children with the opportunity to choose eternal life. So, your calling is to bless lives. You see, there are no small callings to represent the Lord. Your call carries grave responsibility. But you need not fear, because with your call comes great promises. Just as God called you and will guide you, He will magnify you. You will need that magnification. Your calling will surely bring opposition. You are in the Master’s service. You are His representative. Eternal lives depend on you. He faced opposition, and He said that facing opposition would be the lot of those He called. The forces arrayed against you will try not only to frustrate your work but to bring you down. There will be times when you will feel overwhelmed. One of the ways you will be attacked is with the feeling that you are inadequate. Well, you are inadequate to answer a call to represent God with only your own powers. But you have access to more than your natural capacities, and you do not work alone. The Lord will magnify what you say and what you do in the eyes of the people you serve. He will send the Holy Ghost to manifest to them that what you spoke was true. What you say and do will carry hope and give direction to people far beyond your natural abilities and your own understanding. That miracle has been a mark of the Lord’s Church in every dispensation. It is so much a part of your call that you may begin to take it for granted. You can have the utmost assurance that your power will be multiplied many times by the Lord. All He asks is that you give your best effort and your whole heart. Do it cheerfully and with the prayer of faith. The Father and His Beloved Son will send the Holy Ghost as your companion to guide you. Your efforts will be magnified in the lives of the people you serve. And when you look back on what may now seem trying times of service and sacrifice, the sacrifice will have become a blessing, and you will know that you have seen the arm of God lifting those you served for Him, and lifting you. –Henry B. Eyring

*little bit of life*

 

*columbia river temple*

*goob's star wars birthday cake*

*v&j sabey's wedding- cuties :)*

*sabey's ring pic- love!*

*tillamook ice cream- thee besttt*

*oregon coast*

 

*beach*windy*

 *other little bro's bday cake*

i hope they call me on a mission!

i wasn't one of those kids that spent their whole growing up years planning and hoping to go on a mission.

in fact, my plan was to get married to a RM by the time i was 19 (naive, right?)

well, my 19th birthday came and went and now that i'm the big 2-0 i can see that is a blessing in disguise.

i have learned more about myself since i graduated high school then i did all the years leading up to then. 

i have learned that i can overcome trials, however hard they may be, when i have trust in Heavenly Father. i have learned to be happy to be myself. that's not always easy, i definitely have days where its hard to see my self-worth, but i'm not worried about trying to impress people. i have learned that while make-up, clothes, and hairstyles can make you feel good about yourself and accentuate your beauty they do not define you. i have come to realize some talents i have and am working to improve them. i have realized that sometimes love just comes softly and that it happens when you least expect. i have also realized just how vital my family is in my life and how many people out there that love and support me. i've realized its ok to be silly and goofy because that's part of me. i have realized that i can be tough and work hard and that crying is acceptable. 

above all, i have realized that i can change lives.

i didn't really get that growing up. but i know that now.

i have always had a testimony but my shy introverted self prefers to keep it to myself and not draw attention to myself. and guess what guys?

this girl is going on a mission.

even with my mission call the thought is still slightly overwhelming and midly terrifying.

but i decided to not put myself first. i decided that i wasn't born to sit on the back bench of church my whole life and not say a peep. no sir, i want everyone to know that i have a testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ and that it can change and bless lives. i want to attest to the happiness, comfort, and peace that living the gospel brings. i want to help people to be with their loved ones forever. i want to show others a better way of life. i want to become a better example and learn more charity, i want to learn how to be a teacher and a leader. i am out to be a better person.

in august i'll still be a servant of the Lord, but i'll have a name tag.

i'm going to Kentucky y'all!

(little fun fact, generations ago my grandpa's family lived there and i guess there are still some distant relatives that live there)

i am pretty excited! 

some days i doubt myself, but i know that Heavenly Father will help me as long as i put forth my best effort.

yep, in a couple months i'll be in the midst of horse racing, nascar, hillbillies, bluegrass, tobacco, and southern cuisine. guaranteed to be like nowhere i've ever been before. but i have no doubt it is where i am supposed to be. i am needed in that mission and i'll do my best to prepare.